Playing God

The idea of being in a position of absolute power usually causes one of two reactions from people, either refraining away from that idea or a gleeful smile will appear as they think about everything they could possibly do. However, to me the idea that humans aren’t already in the position of a God is kind of funny. We already are constantly trying to prolong human life, we control the environment like no other force, and when it comes to creation and death we make that decision on the daily. For example, when it comes to the issues of curing the various types of cancer around the world, some people would view it as our human moral obligation to assist those in need. The problem comes in when there is limited amounts of resources and beliefs about human mortality begin to conflict with medical procedures. Some people’s beliefs can lead them to take certain actions that either prolong or shorten their life expectancy, like with Jehovah’s Witnesses and blood transfusions. How long people should live, what people should be allowed to do to their bodies (such as smoking, lack of exercise, etc.), and how many people we can actually support on the planet are debated constantly. These subjects however are not debated in a way that makes it seem as if we do not have the ability or resources, but in a moral way where the fact that we make most of the decisions regarding the continuation of life on the planet is not ignored. The question has long stopped being can we or should we, it has now become a how will we kind of question. When we debate about whether or not topics like abortion should be legal, religious people tend to bring up the fact that the decision of life and death is one that belongs to God. If this is the case, then humans are already Gods. We decide which species go extinct and which continue, and most of it is decided based on their appeal or usefulness to us. The number of cows and chickens out number people, but this is only because we eat so many of them. Animals like Pandas are saved because they are cute or appeal to people’s emotions, while key stone amphibian species are largely ignored. Debating about whether or not humans should play the position of God seems kind of pointless, considering the fact that we already do and in many ways already think of it as being morally correct.

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A Challenge I’ve Over Come

A challenge that I have over come would be my issues with my attendance. After the first semester of grade nine, my attendance plummeted to the point where I was only going for 2 or maybe 3 days a week. I ended up moving from GCHS to BDHS, where my attendance struggled to improve due to my anxiety. I had my first panic attack on the first day of my new school when I accidentally sat in a seat that was already claimed by someone else, and as time progressed more problems developed. While walking on my way to school, a pressure would begin to develop on my chest the closer I got. I could have taken the bus to school, as it was a 20 to 25 minute walk, I preferred to go by foot because I was very uncomfortable waiting, and sitting on the bus with other people. Maybe if these were the only problems, I could have solved this problem a lot faster.

However, my anxiety inevitably began to bleed into other aspects of life, including my sleeping and eating habits. I would frequently stay awake until 3, 4 or 5 in the morning and sleep through my alarm or not be able to fall asleep at all and end up having to drink energy drinks or stay home and sleep. My eating habits also went down the drain, with at one point I didn’t eat any solid food for about 3 days. Luckily, after constantly messing up for about 3 years, I managed to find a system where I could improve the areas the were suffering most. First, I needed to get used to being at school. Anxiety disorders typically cause avoidance behaviour, which is when a person will do anything and everything to avoid having to deal with something. For me, that was large amounts of people, people I didn’t know, people looking at me, and people in general. I never got to the point of being completely agoraphobic, like to the point where I wouldn’t leave the house, but there would be a couple weeks in a row where the only place that I was aside from home was at school. In order to solve avoidance behaviour and my help my anxiety levels at school, I had to attended school as frequently as possible. I started off with a goal of at least 3 days a week. After spending 3 years trying to go for an entire week proved futile (although there was the rare occasion that I did), I would plan the days I would miss so that I could be okay to go for others. It’s not like I enjoyed staying at home, as most people seemed to think, as staying at home meant that I was wasting time, becoming more behind in homework, and having to sit alone with nothing to focus on but my anxiety.

After building up a familiar and constant routine for myself so that the anxiety caused by not knowing what is going to happen went largely away, I then had to work on becoming comfortable with my friends. Large amounts of paranoia and distrust had been built up over the years, and I found that I would be largely paranoid about whether or not my friends were actually my friends. I found the best solution to this was to be honest with my friends about my concerns, and literally every time I would bring up the possibility of them being mad at me they would regard it as silly and confusing as to how I got that conclusion. As soon as I began attending school more regularly, with 4 days a week as the usual, grades rapidly improved, and classes I was worried about fail I passed with pretty good grades considering how much school I still wound up missing.

I still deal with problems of losing my appetite, and having trouble falling asleep but it is dramatically better than what is was before. My anxiety will come and go, with some days being better than others, but looking back at how I used be over the years I would say that the vast amount of challenges presented by my anxiety I have over come.